Making Scheduling Easy

Ryan went to play at a friend's house yesterday. He apparently had a great time because he immediately starting asking to invite his buddy over the minute he got back home. I told him I'd have to talk to his Mom to see when he is free. Ryan replied, "Oh I know he's not busy. He's not busy on Friday or Saturday for the next three years."

Appropriate Attire Required

Luke got a viewmaster for Christmas and it came with a few reels, one being Mickey Mouse. One morning this week, he was looking at one of the other reels and I told him she should look at Mickey since he was wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt that day.

This morning, he's wearing a shirt without a character on it. I saw him holding his viewmaster, then he put it down, then he pulled out his shirt to look at it. Realizing I guess that he didn't have a reel to match his shirt, he sighed and walked away from his viewmaster.

Popcorn Point

We were at Target yesterday (yes, I know, there are a good number of posts that involve Target) and I told Ryan and Andrew they could buy a bag of popcorn from the snack bar. Usually they get one bag and share it, but they were being particularly good so I let them each get their own.

As we were walking out, Andrew said he loved having his own bag.

I told him not to get used to it.

He groaned and whined, "But I'm already very used to it!!!"

Squirrely Kids

Luke and Ryan were playing some sort of sword game the other day and Luke was only slightly interested. Ryan was trying to get him to really get in the game so he started offering prizes.
He first said he would give him $99,000 but Luke didn't react.
What finally got him trying to win was when Ryan offered him a baby squirrel.

Greetings Bovine Friends

Everytime we pass the nearby longhorn ranch, Luke hollers out, "Good morning cows! Good afternoon! Good evening!"
I guess it saves him from having to figure out what time of day it is.

Target Toy Story

Luke had everyone at Target laughing this morning. Over and over, he would jump on the end of the grocery cart, throw one arm in the air, and yell, "Ride like the wind, Bullseye!"
I had to push the cart pretty fast for him to really yell...

Handsy McFingers

Today when I picked Luke up from school, his teacher gave me the letters that make up his name to put on the fridge.
I showed it to him and asked him what it said. Every now and again, he recognizes his name.
Not today.
He told me it said, "Don't touch your friends."
So we have something to work on I think! A bit of learning the letters in his name and a lot of keeping his hands to himself!

My, What Big Ears You Have!

Last night after their bath, Andrew kept peering into Luke's ear. I finally asked what he was looking for and he said, "Well, it's just something that I can see in my friend's ear and was looking for it in Luke's ear too. But I don't see it."

I asked him what on earth he could see in his friend's ear?

"I'm pretty sure it's his brain."

The Hits Just Keep on Comin'

I asked Luke if he knew the song "Away in a Manger?"

He replied, "Yep. It says, Reindeer, Reindeer, Reindeeeeeeerrrr... Have a snack!"

I should have recorded it - the melody was lovely.

He Got the Blues

On the way home tonight, Luke asked if he could watch TV in the van. I told him I would think about it. He grimaced and said, "I don't like that blue show we watch."
Took me a bit to realize that our TV is just a blue screen when the radio is on but the screen is still open!

Costume Designer

Today, Luke's school told the kids they could dress as a character from the nativity. Not really having any good costumes, I told him he could dress like Joseph. I figured we would get a piece of cloth and tie it around his head like a shepard.
I didn't explain it well and all Luke heard was that Joseph wore a hat. So he had a fit when I tried to put my makeshift costume on him and chose to wear his "Eskimo Joe's" hat instead!
His teacher pointed out that it was a Joe's hat so it was perfect!!

Advertising is Awesome

Yesterday, Luke and I were in CVS looking for gumdrops. Yes, I put up the gumdrop tree again this year, and so far, Luke has decided not to trade gumdrops for time out (see earlier post).
Anyway, Luke was running up and down the toy aisle like a maniac when he heard a commercial over the loud speaker radio for Pillow Pets. You know that lovely annoying song, "It's a Pillow. It's a Pet. It's a Pillow Pet!"
He froze and gasped and yelled as loud as he could, "Wait! They got Pillow Pets here!"
I tried explaining that it was just a commercial so they might not have them.
No sir, he didn't believe that. He went running even wilder around the store looking for them. And of course, he found them. Wish you could have seen his "told you so" face to me.
So I'm hoping Santa pulls through on the Pillow Pet request at Christmas!!

The Following Christmas Carols Were Arranged by Luke

As we were getting the Christmas decorations put out today, Luke was singing, "O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree! How silly are your branches!"

Yummy?

On Thanksgiving morning, I was getting Luke dressed and talking about what fun we were going to have that day.

I told him, "We are going to eat turkey, and potatoes, and green beans..." And he yelled, "And pilgrims!"

His Teeth Really Bug Him

Luke just came over to me and said he had something stuck in his teeth. I got the dental floss and pried it out.

I didn't recognize it so asked him what on earth was that?

He said, "Wait! I know! It not a bug!"

Nice to Meet Ya

Today in the car I took a drink out of a Diet Coke I had bought at Target. Luke saw me and said, "Hey! My Daddy has that cup. You know him? His name is Don."

Yeah, kid. Pretty sure I know who you are talking about...

Ryan Giving Thanks

Ryan made placemat with a list of items that he is thankful for at school. Here it is!
God
Jesus
Bible
Gosple
Deer
House
America
Fruit
Trees
Indians
Food
Thanksgiving
Holy Spirit
Turkey
Family
Praseing
Frends
Clothing - Warm
Boat
To Go To America
Guns
Pretty Leaves

Guns? At least it is near the bottom of the list...

A Hugging Agenda

I have been taking Luke to the grocery store with me and of course when the cart is full and heavy is when he is most likely to ask to be carried.

So a few trips ago, I told him that I would pick him up to give him a hug but then would have to put him back down to walk.

He now asks a least 2 times per aisle, "Hold you for a hug?"

How can I resist??

It does make shopping for groceries more enjoyable to be hugged twice an aisle...

Need a New Incentive

Lately I have been offering a Mighty Bean to any kid that gets ALL of their clothes into the laundry basket right-side-out. I spend more time than you might imagine getting the laundry ready to put in the washer and I am worn slick.
So usually Andrew is the only one that does it. Ryan has never even gotten close.
This week, even Andrew's clothes were a mess. I asked him about it and he said, "Well, I didn't really need a Mighty Bean this week."
I swear I think he purposely put some clothes wrong just to mess with me.

Ryan's Work

Here are a few poems and such that Ryan has recently written at school (including misspellings, but either he is getting better or getting help as there aren't so many this time!)...

Fall
When I...
Hear the wind whistle
Taste turkey
Smell pie
See leaves
Touch trees
I know it's fall.

My favorite toy is my teddy bear. His name is Gaty because it's my mom's dad's name. I got him for my birthday. I have had him since I was one. My favorite thing to do with him is sleep with him. When I got him I was so exsited.

Pumpkin
big, round
eating, glowing, cool
pick in the fall
pumpkins.

Fun Field Trip
Yesterday my class went on a field trip to the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum. The buffalo was their Walmart. The buffalo intestine were their candy. My favrit thing was a stachu of a coger. The buffalo bones where used to scrape fer. Teepees where not purple. The buffalo horn was used to carry coals.

Go Ahead and Give Me the Second Place Ribbon Now

As Andrew walked away from the dinner table tonight, he said, "Thanks for dinner Mommy. You are one of the best Moms ever."

Even Ryan noticed the "one of" comment and said, "What do you mean? Isn't she the best Mom ever?"

Andrew replied, "Well, Jake's Mom is really good. But you are pretty good Mommy."

Random Funnies

As we walked into the lobby of the doctor's office today, Ryan took a deep breath and said, "Man, I LOVE the smell of this place!"

Ryan's football team had their last game tonight before the playoffs start. The ref had just yelled out that this was the last play coming up. The other team was quick and certainly able to score. All the parents on both teams were standing and yelling and much more nervous than the kids. Andrew chose that minute to finally look up from his game he was playing on my phone and yelled, "OK. Can we go to the car now?"

Not to leave you in suspense - they won. Undefeated in the regular season, thank you!

I held up Luke's jammies-with-feet to get him dressed after his bath, and he gasped and yelled, "Socks on those things!"

Don't guess he'd noticed them in previous nights!

Happy Halloween!!

Climbing Everest

At the zoo today, Andrew was just unable to take... another... step. So he begged Don to carry him up the last hill towards the exit.

Don picked him up and Andrew said, "Great. I think I might make it now."

I Swear I Let Them Eat Some of Their Candy!

Took the boys trick-or-treating at Don's work today. As we started near the first office, I whispered to them to get Snickers bars - Mommy's favorite!

Luke started taking candy and then would hold it up to me and yell, "Is this my favorite?"

Too Much TV

I made cinnamon toast for breakfast. Andrew sat down and said, "Hey! Just like cinnamon toast crunch cereal!"

Ryan said, "Yes, it's part of your complete breakfast."

We went to the party store today and there was a life-size cutout of Gene Simmons from Kiss. Ryan saw it and said, "Hey! It's Dr. Love!"

Halloween Mad Libs

I imagine they are a bit young for mad libs but I found these entertaining anyway. Didn't know what a grammar lesson I would have on my hands when I had to try to explain adverbs and such - I will never be able to home-school!

Andrew:

It was a scary night, outside the Earth was playing. I was in the haunted house doing my homework, when all of a sudden a blue lego appeared in the haunted house! I was terrified but knew I would need to act quickly!

I jumped to the restaurant as excited as I could. Finally, I found a police officer who I knew could kick me. Together, we quickly ran to the restaurant to find the lego waiting there for us!

Police officer quickly spoke to the lego and we found out that lego was just hungry!

We gave lego a ship, it left and I had a great story to eat my friends at school the next day.

Ryan:

Skeletons and DeMarco Murray come out tonight! It's Halloween and they are ready to be mean. So watch your dogs when jumping or treating, they want your pineapples! Skeletons like pumpkins and DeMarco Murray likes corn.

While springing on doors for all your footballs, watch the house down Route 66. It's scary with cat webs and broken police cars.

Great! It's where the dime and sun live! Throw home and hide those tomatoes!

Where Did I Go Wrong in My Brainwashing?

I am wearing a Beatles t-shirt today and Luke just looked at me and asked, "What are those girls doing on your shirt?"

Gladys the Gorilla by Ryan Stout

Gladys livd in the zoo.

Glads luved bananas.

One day Glads smelld sumthing good.

She went off to fide it.

She ate pizza, ice crem, and french food.

Then she found banana bread.

This was done in his technology class - typed in, printed out and then a cute picture was drawn on it. Wonder when the teacher will show them how to use spell check?

Poultry is Such a Pest

I made chicken teriyaki with rice last night for dinner. It wasn't the most wonderful food ever created but it was fairly tasty for chicken and rice.

Andrew had eaten most of the food on his plate when he said, "Can I be done now? This chicken is getting kind of irritating."

Andrew is usually the one that is kind to me and eats what I make. Whereas the other 2 always have to have "kid food." So I couldn't get too upset by his comment!

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves

Yesterday evening Luke and I were sitting in karate watching Ryan & Andrew. Luke looked at me and said, "Did we eat lunch today?" I told him we did. He waited a minute and then said, "Did we eat supper?" I said yes.

He looked pitiful and told me we didn't.

I was getting a bit frustrated because he was getting loud and we had literally eaten 30 minutes ago.

So I said, "Yes we did eat, pumpkin" in my sweetest voice.

He yelled, "No we not!"

I sweetly whispered again, "Yes we did!"

He got teary-eyed and yelled, "No we not eat pumpkin!!!"

Guess I need to have a grammar lesson involving punctuation with him!

Clothes Do Make the Man!

When I picked Luke up today from school, his teacher told me a cute story.

The kids were in "circle" time singing a friendship song. One by one, the kids stand up and everyone sings their name and also the color of their shirt.

When they got to Luke and the color of his shirt, he held up his arms and yelled, "Star Wars shirt today!"

He has a bit of an obsession about wearing his Star Wars shirt to school. Worked out fine this summer when school was one day a week but since he goes 2 days a week now, he has to go one day without his favorite shirt.

Life is the Pits.

Yesterday we were at Target and there was quite a melee with Luke knocking things over and generally being a pill.

So as we were leaving, I asked Ryan to push the cart. Andrew got all offended and said, "Why don't I get to push it?"

I explained that I was frustrated and needed to hold his hand while I carried Luke and just thought it would be better if Ryan pushed the cart to the car since he is bigger.

Andrew groaned and whined, "Geez - that is 2 fun things I don't get to do."

I didn't know what the other thing was so I asked him.

He replied, "I don't get to go to the camp out and now I don't get to push the cart!!"

Andrew has been distraught over the last few days that Ryan is going on a camp out with Don on Friday night. It's a football team party so only the players are going.

I wouldn't have thought that was on the same level with pushing a grocery cart but what do I know?

He's Got that Right!

When I dropped off Luke at school yesterday, I told him I loved him.

He said, "I love you too. You will miss me!"

Book 'em.

Luke had pictures taken at school and brought home the proofs yesterday. Since they are proofs, there is a number written on the picture right below his face so you know which one to order.

Also, it is community helper week and a policeman came to school. Luke told all kinds of stories and seemed very enamored with the officer's handcuffs.

Andrew had heard the stories and when he saw Luke's pictures with the numbers, he said, "Wow! Did the officer put Luke in jail?"

I promise we don't let him watch crime dramas - not sure how he knows all about mug shots!

ps - they are the CUTEST school pictures you've ever seen! :)

Kind of like popcorn but better!

Luke kept asking me to give him "kissy corn" this morning. Took me a while to figure out he wanted one of the candy corn flavored Hershey's kisses that Aunt brought over this weekend!!

Spelling Woes

Poor Ryan is having trouble with one of his spelling words this week. He keeps getting the letters mixed up. I wonder if his teacher has noticed...

Word - Hero
Ryan's word - Hore

The Daily Tattler

As I was changing Luke's diaper, he asked, "You got poopy on you hands?"

I said I didn't think so but that I would wash my hands when I was done just in case.

He replied, "If you got poopy on you hands, I will tell you friends!"

Peanut Butter Poetry

Cleaning out some old papers today and found Ryan's 1st grade journal. Found an entry near the back that I had missed before... I am going to write it just as he did. Let me know if you need help with the translation!! :)

"My frend the penet buter and jely sandwich liks to run arounded every sengle day. He plays and plays and play till the sun gose downe. He lives in the jugle. He ets himself!

When he jumps stuff fall off. He is scerd of children.

He so silly.

I ate my frend."

Love it!!!

The Mathlete

Ryan - "Know what my favorite math problem is? 5 times 5. It's 25. I love that."

Lockup

Interesting question from Andrew on the way home from school today...

"What's juvie? Some sort of kid jail?"

I bet the teacher hears some interesting conversations throughout her entire day!!

It's a Short Menu

Here is another oldie but goodie... Seems like we've not had much funny happen recently or we are just too busy to notice!!!

A couple of years ago, the boys were learning about Moses in Sunday School.
Around the same time, Ryan was having a pity party about something he wanted but couldn't have.
I told him to be thankful for what he has and quit complaining - a lot of people have nothing.
Andrew piped in with, "Yeah. Think of those people that walked around the desert for a million years. They were hungry and all they ever got to eat was mayonnaise. Yuck!"
Mayo... Manna... Would probably get old either way!

That's a Great Partner!

I wish I had pictures to illustrate this one...

Yesterday in karate, the kids were told to line up in pairs, back to back, and do a chair squat. So basically a wall squat but using the other person's back instead of the wall.

Ryan and Andrew were partners.

I was only half watching at first because I was helping Luke with something on my phone.

I hear lots of people huffing and puffing because of course these are difficult.

I look over at Ryan and his face is beet red and he looks like he is about to fall.

No wonder why as I see that he is in a deep squat and bent over. He had to do that because Andrew is stretched back leisurely, basically laying over Ryan!

Andrew hadn't broken a sweat.

Gotta Think Big

Don offered to take the boys to Home Depot today to buy some scraps of wood for a project. He was thinking about helping them make a birdhouse, bat house, something small.

Andrew squealed and said, "Yes!! Let's make a treehouse!"

(Like a huge one for the 3 of them to play in). Not quite what Don had in mind...

Sympathetic Artwork

Poor Aunt Foof lost her best friend Mort yesterday. I told the boys about it and they were upset. Ryan immediately went to draw her a picture of Mort to help her not feel so sad. He spent a lot of time - redoing it more than once (something about how his ears shouldn't look like elephant ears). Here it is...

Andrew noticed what he was doing and said he wanted to make one too. He came back from the office right away with his picture. And as he showed it to me, he asked, "Is this ok? I'm kind of busy so will this work?"

Not to be Confused with Third World

There was an "illusionist" at school today and Ryan & Andrew talked non-stop about him on the way home. (I put illusionist in quotes because I was informed numerous times that he was not a magician but an illusionist. Someone tell me the difference!)

Andrew told me that the guy was not too famous, but he wanted to be.

Ryan agreed and said, "Yeah. He is Second-World-Famous-Ish."

Tough Love

Quote from Ryan...

"We should really love armadillos but it's just impossible."

He just walked up to me, stated this and walked away. I'm thinking this comes from the problem we are having with an armadillo that is rooting around our flowerbeds and making a mess...

How Many Years does it Take Gum to Digest Again??

As you know from previous posts, Luke has taken to enjoying small pieces of bubble gum.

Yesterday, he asked for one just a few moments after I had already given him a piece.

I asked if he had swallowed the other piece?

He replied, "No. It just went sshhhoom and it went in my tummy. I not swallow it."

(There were hand motions involved - he kept making the ssshhoom noise and drawing a line from his neck to his stomach.)

Armageddon

The moon looked really cool last night - lots of fog around it. So I went back in the house and told the boys to go outside and look at the moon.

Luke jumps up and says, "Why? Is there a bomb?"

I Never Liked it Either!

This afternoon we were in a parking lot and saw a van that looked just like our old one. I asked the boys if that was our old van. Ryan looked confused and said, "where?"
I pointed it out again and he said, "Really? That's what color our van was?? That's HORRIBLE!!"

Don't Think I'll Actually Put These on His List.

Conversation between Luke & I today...

Luke: I want orange snakes.

Me: What? Snakes?

Luke: Yes - 2 orange snakes for birthday.

Me: You mean like real live snakes?

Luke: Yep

Me: You're crazy!

Luke: Yep

Poop Truths

Today while Luke was having his diaper changed, he said "Poop is yucky."
While I tend to agree, we don't want him doing the weird toddler thing where they withhold it, so I started my "everyone poops" speech.
He joined in and said, "and Sammy poops and Harry poops and birdies poop."
I saw his stuffed animal laying next to him and said, "Even Squeakers poops."
He shook his head and said, "No him don't! Him don't have a bottom!"

Hello Dessert, My Name is Luke!

This dessert is aptly named "Mt. Peanut Butter."

Amber Alert

Andrew was organizing a search party for "Puppy" - his little black lab stuffed animal. She had been missing for a few days and he was starting to feel a little desperate.

I think the pressure got to him... I heard him heading down the hall yelling, "It's the treasure hunt of death!!"

FYI - she was found alive and well.

A Sad Milestone (at least for Mommy!)

Luke slept in his crib last night for the last time. Moving on to the big bed. Sniff. (I've already had my crying spell so I'm better now.)

I told him this morning that I was sad - I want him to be my baby, not my big guy.

He smiled and said, "I is you baby. You baby big guy."

Ye Olde Bait and Switch

This isn't an actual Stout Boyz Funny because it didn't happen to my fellas. But it made me laugh all the same.

We were at the zoo and a woman with at least 6 kids was trying to wrangle all of them out of the splash area and the kids were not cooperating to say the least. She finally had all but 1 of them out - a toddler probably around 18 months old.

I heard her saying something that resembled "Here, kitty, kitty" and she was holding a can out to the kid.

He saw what she had and came running. As soon as he was in range, she grabbed him and shoved him in the stroller. She laughed and put the can away and told him he couldn't have them. Turns out it was a can of Vienna sausages.

Poor kid!! I can honestly say I've never lured my kids with food and then not let them have it.

And if you are going to do that... Vienna sausages? Seriously??

Yes, that is My Actual Skin Color!

I put on a two-piece swimsuit today to have a water balloon fight with the boys. I typically don't wear one - I need a bit more coverage!! But there was no one else there and my regular swimsuit was wet.

Ryan looked at me, grimaced, and said, "Wow. Your tummy is white, white, white. How did you do that?"

I can only imagine what Luke would have said but thankfully he was taking a nap!

Stating the Obvious Again

I asked Luke if he had his diaper changed during Sunday School. He said, "Yes, Her change me."

I asked him if he knew his teacher's name. He gave me the "you're-an-idiot" look again and said, "Yes. Her name is Sunday School Teacher."

Good to have Confidence

Yesterday, Andrew was floating around the pool on top of the life preserver ring. He grinned and told Don, "I am really good at floating."

The Recycler

Luke hit a big milestone today (at least in my mind) when he chewed a piece of gum and did not swallow it!

He actually chewed it for about 10 minutes. When he started looking like he was getting tired of it, I asked him if he wanted me to take it from him. He said yes and I took it out of his mouth and wrapped it in a piece of paper. He looked annoyed and said, "You throw it away?"

I said yes and he said, "You supposed to put it in you mouth - not waste it."

As much as I love him, I don't plan to start chewing his old gum!!

For Auntie Foof

We were at Pop's today and Ryan commented that there were always a lot of motorcycles there.
Angela asked him if he knew why? She was about to explain how people drive down route 66 just for fun.
Before she could explain, he said, "I know! It's because there is a bar here!"

Sent from my iPhone

What's in a Name?

I asked Luke if he knew what Andrew's middle name is. He smiled and said, "Yes, it's Harry."

Andrew got a big chuckle out of that seeing as that is the cat's name!

So then I asked if he knew Ryan's middle name. He yelled, "Cookie!"

My Adventurous Children

Took Ryan & Andrew to Frontier City today. Andrew rode a total of 3 rides (and this included sitting on the bench on the merry-go-round rather than risking it by riding one of those crazy animals.)

Ryan was a bit more brave and rode the Wildcat with me. As we headed up the big hill, he started saying he was scared, wanted off, oh no...

As we went down the hill, he ducked his head into my arm and for the majority of the ride he yelled, "No Mommy! No Mommy! No Mommy!!"

When we got off, I laughed and said that I guessed he didn't enjoy himself?

He said, "I liked it! Well, except for the hills."

Too bad that the Wildcat is an old wooden roller coaster that consists entirely of hills!!

Note: Forgot to tell Andrew's funny line as we slowly went round and round on the carousel... "You didn't mention that this would go so fast."

Still Believin'

Based on a previous post, you may remember that Ryan believes Don is black.

Yesterday we were talking about having a Little Einsteins birthday party for Luke. I said I could dress as June, Luke could dress at Leo...

Ryan decided that Don could dress as Quincy, "you know, because he's dark skinned."

My Mommy's Goofier than your Mommy.

Luke was shining a red light from a toy in his own eyes this morning. I heard Ryan yell, "Hey Luke! Stop that!! It's not good for you!! Do you want to look goofy like Mommy?!"

Of course I said, "Hey! That's not nice!"

He replied, "Well I just mean that in that picture of you as a little girl you looked goofy because you wore big glasses."

Great.

Why the Long Face?

Looking at Angela (cousin) at lunch today, Luke says, "Her have black eyes like horsey."

When you think about it, he doesn't see many eyes that dark!!

Future Farmers of America

Conversation in van... (Mind you, we were heading downtown and they never stopped talking for half an hour so this is just a few highlights...)

Andrew: When we live on our farm, I want to have a dog. (They have been planning their future for some time now and are going to live on a farm/zoo.)

Ryan: I want a bulldog.

A: Not a bulldog - they aren't cute.

R: They are cute! But let's each have a dog - you have what you want and I'll have a bulldog.

A: OK - I'll have a Sammy dog. Is she a bored collie?

R: Border collie!

A: OK - and don't forget the bald eagles.

R: Yeah, and rabbits. Let's bring the animals in the house sometimes. Not the dogs and the rabbits together though. The dogs will eat the rabbits!

A: Mommy, you can come visit and we won't even charge you. It will be free!

R: Yeah, and we will have free coke machines.

A: You can live with us too. Allison is going to live there - she wants to live on a farm.

R: Yeah, it will be awesome.

I wish I could remember it all - there was a lot of talk of what would be free for me but they would charge the public. Better get your bids in now for the free stuff!!

Not All Myths are True!

Andrew and Ryan were discussing cats a lot today. At one point, Andrew said, "Harry doesn't always like me."

Ryan replied, "Well you did throw him on the couch a few times."

Andrew chuckled and said, "I just had to know how many times he would land on his feet. He does sometimes!!"

Poor little Harry.

Science is Everywhere, Man

We were all playing tennis in the driveway tonight and Ryan chased the ball into the high grass next door. He found a feather and Andrew yelled, "Is there any science on it??"

He's Not Destined to be a Streaker

I completely freaked Luke out the other day when I took him with me to buy a new dress.

We went into the dressing room and I started changing clothes to try on the dress.

I guess I should have explained myself to him first, because he gasped and started yelling, "No! No Mama!!! Don't take off you shirt! Don't put on the dress! Take off that dress!!! Put you shirt back on!!!"

My Dad Would Have Loved This!

We were in the van and the boys were watching The Muppet Show on DVD. It was the episode with Peter Sellars and all of the sudden they all start squealing and Ryan yelled, "Turn it up - this is our favorite song!!"
I turned it up and heard...
"Cigarettes and whiskey and wild, wild women... They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane."
Oh man, do they love that song.
And yes, it was on the Muppets!
Don't get too worried - they do talk about h0w smoking makes you a fool. So at least it is an anti-tobacco spot!!

Look Out!

We were at the 4th of July Parade this morning, and there were some men dressed in Revolutionary War attire. Luke saw them and yelled, "Pirates!!!"

In his defense, he does have some pirate toys and these guys were dressed very similarly to the pirate captains that he has!

History Lesson

Conversation between Ryan & Andrew in van...

Ryan - Did you know that Thomas Edison had a brother named Thomas? I can't think of his last name. But he was famous. Oh I know, his name was Thomas Jefferson.

Me - I don't think they were brothers.

Ryan - OK, but I read that in a book. I guess the book was wrong. But maybe they were best friends. No, wait! Thomas Edison's best friend was the guy that invented the car. What was his name?

Me - Henry Ford?

Ryan - Yes! That was him - they were buddies.

Andrew - That guy invented this car? (Indicating our van).

Ryan - Well no. Well, yes actually. But it was a wooden car. They didn't have iron or glass or tires just laying around back then.

Andrew - Wooden???

Ryan - Yes. All over.

Andrew - But how did they see out if the windows were made of wood?

Ryan - They didn't! They couldn't ride in the cars - there was nothing in them!

Me - I'm pretty sure the reason they had cars was to ride in them.

Ryan - Well, yeah, but they didn't have wooden windows. They just had big holes.

Andrew - And seats made of wood?

Ryan - Yes! It wasn't very comfortable.

You should be impressed I remembered this conversation fairly accurately!

Vacation Funnies

Here is a short list of the most interesting quotes heard while on a recent trip to Dallas. I'll let you figure out who said what!!

I didn't know there were churches in Texas!

Don't eat food off of your shoulder.

Hand off your wiener.

Are we there yet (at least 1000 times - 2.5 hours waiting for flood waters caused the majority of these...)?

Don't ever grab things out of the toilet.

Person 1 - My toots smell like roses!

Person 2 - Yeah, roses that were pooped on!

We must still be in Oklahoma - I see an American flag so we aren't to Texas yet.

While walking into Great Wolf Lodge (indoor water park that happens to also have a hotel) - Does this hotel have a pool??

I wish Texas wasn't so hot!

I got no bullets in there - I not shoot anything!!

You not Woody - you Andrew!!

Put Him on Jeopardy!

In the car today, Luke was talking on and on about Darth Vader. Ryan got on a roll about what a great imagination Luke has since he doesn't even know who Darth Vader is.

Andrew snickered and said, "Yeah. Hey Luke - who is Darth Vader?"

Luke replied, "Anakin."

Ryan's mouth dropped open and Andrew whispered, "How did he know that?!?!?"

I have to admit I was a bit amazed myself! Luke's been paying attention!

Good Recovery

We were just at dinner and Andrew snuggled up to Don and said, "You're
my second favorite Daddy."
Don laughed but also looking concerned, asked, "Well who is your first
favorite?"
Andrew replied, "God and Jesus."

If You Have to Leave, Better Be for Something Constructive.

We were at the pool this weekend and Don had to leave early to go to a friend's house. As he was leaving, Luke yelled, "Go home, Daddy! Do some yard work!!"

You Can See Forever from Here!

We are in Dallas and Don & Ryan were at the top of a water slide. Don
commented about how high they were - look how far they could see.
Ryan said, "Wow! We are high!! I can even see downtown!!"
Don thought for a second and said, "You do realize that is downtown
Dallas instead of OKC, right?"
Ryan replied, "Oh - guess you are right!"

Who needs chips?

We were just at lunch and the waiter started chuckling at Andrew.
We looked and realized he was drinking his queso with a straw.
Can you blame him? It was Ted's!

It's Very Fast

Ryan wanted a sub sandwich with ham and swift cheese...

Listen up!!

Luke was in his room for his nap today for an hour but I heard him
talking and singing the whole time.
When I went in to get him, I said, "why didn't you take a nap?"
He was yapping and singing still and pretended not to hear me.
Sometimes, the only way to get him to really listen is to whisper to
him. So I whispered to him, "You are crazy - you didn't take a nap!"
He smiled and put my face in his hands and whispered in my ear, "Yes
me did!"

Fashion Advice from a Kid Named Sharkey!

I was just putting Luke to bed and he gave me a big monkey hug (arms and legs wrapped around - it's the BEST!).

He leaned his body back, looked at my shirt and said, "You take this off."

I said, "What? My shirt?"

He grimaced and said, "Yes. I not like this shirt. Daddy not like this shirt. You not wear it."

Somebody really needs to sign me up for What Not to Wear!!!!

Funny Furry Stout Boy

I walked in the bedroom and found Harry sitting up on the bed with his front paws crossed over himself like he was trying to cover his private parts.

Andrew thinks this is the funniest thing he has ever seen and wanted me to share it!

Oh and his eyes aren't always so goofy looking - I went crazy with the red-eye fixer!

My Biscuits are Burnin'

Luke saw a picture of Cinderella's castle today and told me that I
shouldn't go in that castle.
I asked why and he said, "There is fire in there. You burn you
biscuits!"

My Knight in Shining Armor

I was attacked in the shower this morning by a fiddleback. Seriously. It was on my towel (!) and I didn't know it until I felt something on my shoulder. Of course, when I realized what it was, I screamed hysterically.

Don & Ryan came to help and when Ryan saw it, he yelled, "I'll go get the sledgehammer!"

Luckily, Don nabbed it with a flip-flop and the sledgehammer turned out to be unnecessary.

But it was nice to know he was willing to help!!

I'd Like Wrinkle Cream for my Birthday, Please!!!

My birthday is coming up this weekend and I will be turning 39. Andrew heard me talking about it and said, "I didn't know you were going to be 39."

Stupidly, I asked, "Well how old did you think I was?"

Don started mumbling under his breath, "watch out, watch out."

Sure enough, Andrew answered, "59!"

The 5th Beatle

This morning, we were going to the zoo and took a friend of Andrew's. He is almost as much of a Beatles fan as Andrew is so we played the Beatles list on the ipod.

They all started singing along and were pretending to be the Beatles.

Andrew hollers out, "I'm Paul!"

Joshua hollers out, "I'm George!"

Ryan hollers out, "I'm Ringo!"

Luke hollers out, "I'm Darth Vader!"

Always Expect This Kind of Answer from a Meat-Eater!

Andrew was watching the BBC version of Narnia today in the car.
The white witch in the movie asked the kid what he would like to eat -
his favorite thing in the world.
He asked for "Turkish delight."
Not being able to see the movie (I was driving), I asked Andrew what
it was.
He answered, "It must be turkey - and that is pretty yummy!!"

He's Honest at Least

Luke and Ryan are having a sword fight in the front yard. (Don't worry
- I haven't left them alone - beauty of the iPhone).
Luke just started squealing so I asked Ryan, "did you hit him?"
Ryan's response - "Not as hard as I could have!"

There's Always Gotta be a Middle Man!

I was reading a Junie B. Jones book to the boys tonight. Glad they still don't realize most people consider them "girl" books because I find them HI-LARIOUS!

I was sitting on the floor, Don sitting in the rocking chair across from me and Andrew was sitting on the bed right behind me.

Andrew interrupted my reading by repeatedly saying, "Daddy... Daddy... Daddy."

That drives me crazy in itself but I stopped and Don asked him what he wanted.

So Andrew says to him, "Tell Mommy to show me the pictures if there are any because I'm going to lay down here for a minute."

Priorities!!

We had to get "in the hole" today (tornado shelter) for the first time. Don wasn't home so I was trying to be all brave and calm so the boys wouldn't freak out.

Andrew started looking particularly nervous so I was saying how we were safe, we were going to be okay, on and on.

He looked pitiful and said, "Yeah but are we going to get to eat dinner?!?"

Oh No - He Exists!

Ryan & Andrew were outside playing "police and bad guys" and I told Ryan to watch out for Kokomo Smith (see earlier post...). He suddenly looked scared and asked, "Do you know him???"

Apparently he didn't know I overheard them playing the other day and thought Kokomo was a real guy!

Pantry Party

I found Luke in the pantry this morning. He is notorious for getting into the sugar sprinkles and chowing down. Here is the conversation as he came out...

Me: Luke? Whatcha doin in there?

Luke: Nothing

Me: Were you eating something?

Luke: Something

Me: What was it?

Luke: Nothing

Me: Did you eat sprinkles?

Luke: Something

Then he grinned and wandered away...

Must be a Small Clown

New game being played by R & A...

Don't have a clue what it is, but this is the quote heard most often:

"Yep - that's a clown throw. It's a clown throw big time!"

Beef. It's What's for Dinner.

Ryan looked at the menu for school and said, "Oh, ham and cheese sandwich, no thanks!"

I asked him why since he likes those.

He said, "The ham tastes yucky. Like beef or something."

Andrew heard this and said, "Well maybe it's a special kind of beef. Maybe it's homemade."

So sadly, in Andrew's mind... Homemade = Yucky!!!!

Beach Boys?

Ryan and Andrew were riding their bikes in the circle at the end of our road. Since they were in the street, I was sitting near the entrance of the circle watching for cars (yes, I am a nervous mother).
They were playing some game where they imagined they were being chased by bad guys.
I heard Ryan tell Andrew, "Watch out for the bad guys. There are three of them. Their names are John Smith, Evan Smith and Kokomo Smith."

Think Outside the Box!

We have a canvas box in the living room that Luke puts all of his random toys in. For some reason, he likes to dump the box and then sit in it. It's not that big so he really doesn't fit.
A couple of days ago, he got stuck in it and started wailing because there was also a toy stuck in it with him and it had some pointy parts.
I rescued him and not five minutes later, the same thing happened again.
Another rescue.
Ryan and I had gone to his bedroom to get clothes and we hear Luke screaming again. Ryan takes off running, yelling, "I bet he's stuck again!"
He comes running back and announces, "Oh yeah, he did it again. Stuck in the box."
I still hear Luke yelling so just to be sure, I asked, "Well you helped him out, didn't you?"
He gives me a funny look and takes off running again. Apparently not.

Hey, I Could Have a Worse Addiction!

This morning, Luke and I were walking around the house looking at the flowers and he was smelling all of them.
We were at the cherry tree (the one that is 3 years old and is still not quite a foot tall!) and he bent down and sniffed.
I asked him what it smelled like and he said, "Diet Coke with cherry and vanilla!"

Free and Easy Piggies

Luke has become obsessed with wearing flip-flops (in his words - pip-pops) instead of shoes and socks.

Last night was going to be pretty chilly so I asked him to get his socks on to wear to bed. He said, "No - I wear my pip-pops to bed." I argued but he just yelled, "Yes me is!!" Once that starts, it's all over.

As we were laying Ryan & Andrew down, Luke disappeared down the hall. He came back in with his socks and had Don put them on him. He tried to hide it from me, I'm sure so he could still feel like he won the argument.

When I went to get him this morning, he woke up, saw me and yelled, "No socks!!!"

Don't See Motivational Speaking in his Future

I ran a marathon on Sunday (first and last) and the boys thankfully came to cheer me on.
I saw them at about mile 17 and Andrew runs up to me. I figure he's going to say, "Go Mommy" or something inspirational but instead I hear, "Mommy - I'm getting kind of tired out here. Daddy let me play Jelly Car on his phone. Are you almost done?"
Maybe not that inspirational but at least he was there and at that point, he was smiling!!

Potty or Party??

Harry, the cat, has been at the vet since yesterday morning. They are trying to get a urine sample from him but he is being very uncooperative, thus the overnight stay.

Luke is getting antsy and asks every 10 minutes when we are going to get him.

This afternoon when I picked up the other boys, they asked if we were going to get Harry.

I told them no, that he still hadn't gone to the bathroom.

Luke started squealing and said, "No! He did go potty, but now they having birthday party for he. He has candles on cake!"

Maybe I should hang out at the vet more often if there is cake involved!!

Beg to Differ

Changing Luke today, I told him that his diaper was pretty stinky.

He smelled the air and said, "Um... smells like... um... honeydew!"

No Posers, Please!

Luke and I were at the dry cleaners and the girl working there came to
the drive-thru window to help us.
She was wearing an OU jersey and Luke yells to her, "Why her have OU
player?"

Not the Toy Store - the TOE Store

One day while Luke was taking a nap, I gave myself a pedicure. Not the best work, I'm sure, but I hated to subject anyone to my post-winter-marathon-training feet.

When Luke got up from his nap, he noticed my feet and yelled, "Where ya got those toes MomMom?!?!"

Real Love

Took Luke to the zoo today and he wanted to take woof-woof in with him.
When we got home and it was naptime, I couldn't find woof-woof.
I said I hoped we didn't lose him at the zoo.
Luke found him and said, "I not lost he. I love he!"

Playing the Numbers

Conversation in van yesterday...

Andrew: I didn't have a good lunch today. My friends were gone so I
was the only boy at table one. The girls just argued with each other
the whole time.
Ryan: Girls always argue. And they can't play together in odd numbers.
If two girls are playing and another one asks if she can play, they
always say no. Boys can play in all kinds of numbers - even or odd.
Like 3 or 7 or 9.
Andrew: Guess we are lucky we are all boys since there are three of us!

You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

Andrew asked me to play four square with him today. Seemed easy
enough so I said yes.
Here are some of the phrases I heard while trying to play...
No - I am the king so only I can do cherry bombs.
You have to pass it to the mailman every time!
Well that's a chicken leg for ya.
I'll be knight one and knight two.
No you can't do that - we are playing college rules (that's
kindergarten rules).

Needless to say, I lost!

Ryan's Teacher Would be Proud

Andrew just saw a commercial for the TV show on the Discovery Channel called Life. He is obsessed with watching it.

I think he expects it to be a movie and I think it's just a documentary on animals and such in the world.

So I told him that it's not a movie and I didn't think he'd find it very interesting.

Ryan walked by and said, "Yes it will be interesting. It's called learning!"

Taste Tester

I took the boys to dinner the other night without Don so it was a bit of a madhouse.

I was trying to entertain Luke while R & A kept going to the "pickle bar" to get snacks.

Ryan came back with about 60 pounds of pickles. Luke asked for one and Ryan gave it to him.

Turns out he only likes one of the varieties that they have. Ryan figured it out and was giving him only the ones that he liked.

After Luke ate a bunch of the pickles, I asked Ryan how did he know by looking at them which pickle to give him? (They all looked alike to me).

He said, "this is how," and proceeded to lick each pickle until he found the right one.

Luckily Luke doesn't get how gross it is to have all of your food licked before you eat it!!

Technically Not the Same Thing

Luke had Mother's Day Out today, and for the first time, I got a note that said he was a bit rough with his friends.

I asked him about it and he said his friends hit him.

I said, well did you hit your friends first?

He said nooooo.

Then he whispered very sinister like, "I kick them."

Great.

Might Want to Check the Dictionary

During Andrew's karate class yesterday, the instructor asked the class if they understood the word discipline.
Lots of blank stares.
So he asked if it meant doing the right thing some of the time or doing the right thing all of the time?
Ryan leaned over to me and whispered, "Geez - it's gotta be some of the time. Nobody's perfect!"

Meow

This morning, we saw a neighbor walking her dog - a pomeranian. Luke
said, "what's that?"
I told him it was a dog and he said, "No - it's a kitty."
No matter how much I argued, he kept insisting it was a cat!

It's Like a Whole Other Country

We took the boys to the Medieval Fair last weekend. Very interesting people watching!!

After many strange sights, Andrew looked at Don and said, "Daddy, are we still in Oklahoma??"

Opposite End of the Dental Spectrum

As I was trying to open a Popsicle package with my teeth, Andrew
yells, "Don't use your teeth for a tool!"

If You Need Dental Help, Ask Ryan

Yesterday I had to drop something off at school so we had to go in to pick up the boys instead of going through the carpool lane. As Luke and I were walking in, the Mom of one of Ryan's friends came over and said to tell Ryan thank you. She wouldn't say for what but was smiling very big.

When we got in school, I found the boys and then headed for the office.

I could tell Ryan was dying to tell me something but he waited until we were outside.

Here is our conversation...

Ryan (said with glee): Guess what?! Christian got hit in the face today with a soccer ball and it nearly knocked his tooth out! It's just barely hanging on and there was blood!!!

Me: Oh, that must be what his Mom was talking about. She told me to tell you thank you. I guess you were a good friend and helped him when he was hurt?

Ryan: No! I'm the one that kicked the soccer ball!!!

Apparently Christian had been hoping to lose a tooth and this was a good thing!

Fun Winter - a short story by Ryan Stout

The mouse ate a piece of a snowflake.
After he ate he got frost bite when he slid.
It was cold and windy and snow covered his house and it got so warm that the snow melted.
He had marshmallows and cocoa.
It was fun!

- This was an assignment at school. Kind of reminds me of The Stupid Pumpkins by Lori Miller.

Andrew's Random Thoughts

"Our neighborhood is safe since the houses aren't close together. If the houses were close together, people would show up in your house and you'd have to say, Hey go back to your own space!! Our neighborhood is safer than anything. Except Heaven."

It's Not All Coming Back to Me Now

Conversation between Don & Andrew -
Don: Hey Andrew, there's your friend Seth.
Andrew: Who?
Don: Remember the kid that was on your tball team last year? He was
your buddy!
Andrew: Was he the kid that had a rainbow shirt that he wore sometimes?
Don: I think he did have a rainbow shirt!
Andrew: No - I don't remember him.

Wouldn't Want to Waste His Time

Yesterday on the way home we started talking about organ donation. Don't ask why. I think it started with talk about an earthworm.

Normally when a touchy subject comes up, I try to distract them by yelling, "Look - a squirrel!" (You'd be surprised by how often that works.)

But I wanted them to know that it is important to be an organ donor so I told them that I was. And if something ever happened to me, at least I could hopefully help someone else who maybe needed my heart or another part of me.

I should have known that they would then start in about death and dying.

Andrew got very upset and I started to yell about the squirrel when he said, "But Mommy, if you die, we'll have to stay at school forever until Daddy gets off work! I don't want to sit in the carpool line that long!!"

So he won't necessarily miss me, but will someone just please go pick him up early?!?

Ryan is Multicultural

For some reason, Ryan has been under the impression for sometime now that Don is a black man. Once, I was talking to him about how sometimes kids don't look like their parents - especially when they are adopted. (His best friend is black and was adopted by white parents). He nodded and said, "Yeah, just like Daddy is black but we are white."

I told him that Daddy has darker skin than us, but he's not black. I thought he had it down but when he brought home a recent portrait he did at school, I realized maybe not! Here's his picture he made of his Dad...

A Moment of Silence, PLEASE!!

Ryan and Andrew woke up early again this morning - big surprise. I told them that I was going to use the treadmill and Luke and Daddy were still asleep so BE QUIET!!

Of course, I got a bunch of promises about how that would be the case.

After about 20 minutes, I heard a ton of racket in the living room. Mind you, this is over the noise of the treadmill, the 20 fans I have going and the TV.

I go in the living room and Andrew is pretending to be a horse, Ryan is on his back pretending to be a cowboy and for some reason, Ryan has a microphone and is yelling at the top of his lungs.

They saw me and panic set in and they both started blaming the other one for the noise.

I never did get an explanation as to why a cowboy would have a microphone but needless to say, everyone was awake!!!

Random Quotes

Random quotes from yet another snow day...

Andrew: "No, Luke!! We aren't having a sword fight right now!!"

Ryan: "Andrew, are you deaf?? Don't you see that??"

Ryan: "Help Help - Luke is robbing me!!"

At this point, I see Luke flying by me laughing hysterically with a quarter in his hand.

Stop in the Name of the Law!!!

Conversation while driving...
Ryan: Why do we have lips?
Mommy: They help us keep food in our mouths while we eat.
Ryan: I guess that's a good thing!
Mommy: Yeah and they also are good for kissing!
Andrew: I wish kissing was illegal!!!

It's Such a Pain to Fast Forward!

We are in the process of buying a new van. It's not that we are afraid
of our Toyota necessarily, but Honda is offering some pretty great
deals to take advantage of Toyota's issues.
Anyway, Don told Andrew that we are getting a new van and Andrew
groaned.
Don asked him why he didn't want a new one and he said, "We'll have to
start Horton Hears a Who all over again!" (That's the DVD currently
playing in the van).

Beautiful Music

Ryan has been begging for piano lessons lately. We're not sure if he'd really do it for long (it involves a lot of sitting!) so we've been trying to stall.

This morning he mentioned it again and we said we'd talk about it. He started playing as only he can and he said, "I actually already know how to play. It just doesn't always sound very good."

Sometimes I Wake Up Thinking About Cake Too!

This morning I went in to get Luke out of bed and he was jumping in his crib already wide awake.

I told him that I thought he was going to sleep late today and he said, "No, I talking to my friends."

(His friends are his stuffed animals in his bed).

I asked him what he and his friends were talking about - was it just stuff?

He picked up WaWa (his stuffed Chihuahua) and he said, "No, WaWa wants cake."

Nap Child, Nap!!!

Yesterday was Mother's Day Out for Luke and yet again he did not nap. Here are a couple of aftershocks of a napless day...

We were talking about stopping at McDonald's after baseball practice. They usually love it since we don't do that very often and it's a big treat.
Ryan whooped and hollered and then Luke starts whining, "I not want Donald's. I not eat supper. I not go home. I not go eat."
I muttered, "Wow - someone is cranky tonight!"
He glared at me and said, "Yes me is."

I had to drop Andrew off at tball and then go drop Ryan off at his batting practice. On the way to pick up Andrew, Luke starts whining again. "No go get Andrew!!"
I tried to reason with him (why?) and told him we had to get Andrew or how else would he come home?
Like a loving brother, he says, "No get Andrew ever. Andrew stay there. Not bring him home!"
Those two do fight a lot but I hadn't thought it had come to this!!

Is He Really My Kid??

I made broccoli for dinner tonight and when Andrew came into the kitchen, he asked if he smelled broccoli.
I said yep and he yelled, "Broccoli is the bestest smell in the whole wide world!"

Inconceivable!

On the way home today, Andrew was talking about how they played speed stacking in PE. (I don't get it - stacking cups??)
Anyway, he was annoyed because he had to use pink cups. I told him that pink isn't that bad, it's really just red with white mixed in.
Ryan tried to be helpful and agree and said that pink is his second favorite color.
Andrew gasped, yelled "WHAT??", made a bunch of scoffing noises and yelled, "You gotta be kiddin' me!!!!"

He's the Feller.

A noxious smell was in the van so of course I asked, "Who tooted?"
Ryan said, "Andrew!"
Andrew said, "Ryan!"
Luke said, "Me!!!!"

Surprise!

I am taking Ryan & Andrew bowling this afternoon and I enjoy keeping stuff a secret until we get there. Drives them crazy. Here is Ryan trying to get it out of me before we go...
Ryan: Mommy - I like surprises when it's like my birthday present but I don't like them when it's about something we are doing.
Mommy: Why not?
Ryan: Well, what if you say we are going somewhere fun and we go to a coffee shop?
Mommy: When have I ever taken you to a coffee shop?
Ryan: I'm just exampling.

How Would He Know That??

Don: "Ryan, do you want some blackberry wine cake?"
Ryan: "No thanks. I don't like wine."

Bigger than a Bread Box

This morning, the UPS man brought a box to our house. I went out to get it and when I walked back in with it, Luke looked amazed. It was about the size of a pillow. He obviously hasn't quite caught on with the concept of size because he started yelling, "What's in there? A motorcycle? A scooter??"
He was very sad to learn it was a present for Andrew's birthday and not a scooter or motorcycle!

Well it SHOULD be a National Holiday!

Yesterday the mail was once again not in the mailbox when we got home from picking the boys up at school. Ryan & Andrew love getting the mail before we go up the driveway so this makes them particularly irritated.
It still wasn't there when we left again to go to karate. Talking to myself, I tried to remember if it was some sort of holiday.
Andrew heard me and said, "Oh yeah - tomorrow is Dr. Seuss' birthday!!"
Ryan was quick to agree and said in his over-confident way, "Yep - that's the deal all right!"

Man, You Should Have Seen the Rocks Back in the Day!

Conversation heard on the way home between Ryan and Andrew...

Andrew: I don't know how David killed Goliath. I think God helped him but I don't know how he could kill him.

Ryan: Well, they had a lot more rocks back then...

Perfect Explanation

I got a great big bear hug from Luke this evening. He'd had a "trying" day and it was the first hug he had given me. I said to him, "Wow - that's a great hug. Why is that the first one I had today??"
He grimaced and said, "Because... I did not take nap at school today!"

His usual answer to any question is "because because" said in his own cute little way so this was a lot of information for him!

Help with Translation

I need some help translating something Luke keeps saying...

He puts my face in his hands, squeezes my cheeks together and says, "Meesa Boosa!"

???

May Have to Move to Maximum Security

The boys haven't provided me with much to write about the last few days so here's another Way Back Wednesday.

At Christmas time this year, as usual, I put out the gumdrop tree. It is for looks only - DON'T eat the gumdrops!!!

Ryan and Andrew have given up eating them (I think - but you know they might be sneaking them and replacing them for all I know). But it was sort of torture for poor Luke. He constantly begged for them.

I gave in a few times but most of the time he asked, I told him no.

One day, he just couldn't take it and longer and even though I said no, he climbed up on the counter and got a gumdrop.

I scolded him and told him not to do it again or he'd be going to time out.

A few minutes later he walked by me eating something. I asked him what he had in his mouth.

And as he kept walking, he replied, "Eating gumdrop - going to time out!" He took his gumdrops (he'd taken a handful) and proceeded to eat them while sitting in his time out spot.

The punishment was totally worth the crime in his eyes!!!

Will Insurance Cover That??

Ryan went to a Monster Truck rally with his friends for a birthday party. When Don picked him up afterwards, he asked him if he had fun.

Ryan talked the entire way home (like 20 minutes) about how great it was.

At one point, he mentioned casually that they missed a few minutes of it since they were in First Aid while one of his friends had surgery.

WAIT - WHAT??? (Amazingly, Don didn't drive off the road at this point).

Apparently the boy got his fingers slammed in a door. Not sure about the details - I'll have to call his Mom and find out!!

I Finally Did Good!!!

I got the boys new water bottles - BPA free no less. They appear cool, I guess. Spout that pops up and cool blue color.

I wasn't that impressed and at first Andrew wasn't either. He couldn't figure out how to drink out of it and was getting annoyed.

Finally it clicked and he took a big drink and yelled, "Awesome, can I take this to show and tell at school!?!?!"

Yes I am Very Mean - But it's So Cold!

As we were driving home from karate today, Luke was pretending to talk on the phone. This is what I heard...

"Hello, Hello? Uh, No. I not play outside today. Mommy not let me."

All said with quite a disgusted tone!!

Fun at Nana's house

Funny stuff as told by Nana...

Ryan and Andrew are spending the night. Yesterday I asked what we would do Monday and Ryan wanted to go bowling and Andrew wanted to go to the Omniplex. Rather than chose one over the other I decided we would go to Chucky Cheese. Tonight I said that since Ryan wanted to bowl and Andrew wanted to go to the Omniplex, we would do Chucky Cheese, was that ok. In a fit of glee, clapping his hands, Andrew exclaimed "We are going to do all three???" I had to set that straight real quick! Gotta love that boy. I'm surprised I didn't cave in...

That Answers That

I'm sitting at the computer and Luke walks up looking very suspicious. I noticed a mess on his face and asked him, "What's on your mouth?"

He looked for a minute like he was trying to decide what to tell me and finally sighed and said, "Um, chocolate."

"And where did you get that chocolate?"

"Um, a box."

Guess I'll Have to Try Harder!

It's Valentine's Day so I thought I'd make a nice meal that a couple of my Valentines would like. Don and Andrew both love ribs so I made that. Ryan won't eat anything and Luke will eat everything so I didn't worry too much about making those two happy!
I even made broccoli - another of Andrew's favorites.
So as we were eating, I said to Andrew, "I made your favorite meal since you are my Valentine!"
He looked confused and I said, "Isn't this one of your favorite things to eat?"
He shrugged and said, "Well, no, not really."
I'm like 0 for 100 with him!!

Like Father, Like Son

Last night we were watching Survivor and the first challenge they had involved a lot of wrestling. At one point, one of the girls loses her top. And Ryan jumped up squealing and yelling, "This is AWESOME!!"

I Have No Future in the WNBA

For some reason, Ryan and Andrew were talking about women's basketball on the way home today. Ryan asked if boys ever played against girls. I said no but that there are a lot of girl players that are better than a lot of the boys.

Andrew piped in with, "Well, we know that Mommy isn't one of those girls!"

Dr. Ryan Stout

Poor Andrew has had problems lately with using the restroom. He feels like he has to go often but then only a few drops come out. We have an appointment with a urologist but Ryan has diagnosed it already!

He came running in the bedroom one morning yelling, "Hey, I know what's wrong with Andrew! He doesn't have a going problem, he has a growing problem!"

Too much TV - he had seen an ad for Flomax or one of those prostate commercials!!

Thanks Again Kid!

Luke has had quite a violent streak the last few days. Hitting and kicking anything that moves (or for that matter, anything that doesn't move), but mostly me!

Tiffany (his favorite person in the world - he calls her Titten) is coming over tonight so I told him yesterday that if he keeps hitting, she couldn't come over.

He looked at me with this "geez" look on his face and said, "I not hit Titten!"

Well that's good to know!

Nothing's Free Anymore!

I had to take Andrew to the doctor today and of course he had to potty in a cup for them. I didn't want to send him in alone, so I took him in the women's restroom. Ryan didn't want to be left out so he came in with us.

As I was trying to help Andrew, Ryan washes his hands and then I hear him yelling outside the stall, "Hey - I don't have a quarter and I need one to get a paper towel!"

I told him those aren't paper towels and to leave the machine alone!!

Don's gonna have to have a big talk with him soon!! Geez I'm glad we don't have girls!!!

Modesty May be a Problem!

This morning, Luke and I were watching Little Einsteins. It was about a bird that does ballet. I asked him if he had ever seen a bird do Ballet? Of course he said Yes!

Then I asked if he knew how to do ballet? Yes!

Then I asked is he good at ballet? Yes!

So I asked him if he is modest? He looked at me so sweetly and then yelled No!

Thanks, I Think

Andrew: "Mommy, one time I was going to tell you that you are cute but then I decided to not tell you."

A Delicate Matter

This morning, Luke and I were playing and it occurred to me that he hadn't had a dirty diaper yet. You know what I mean - ye olde #2.

Anyway, I said something to him about it and kiddingly asked him if he was waiting until naptime so he could have a reason for me to have to go back in his room.

He grinned and said, "I not poopy on Thursday. I not poopy at school!"

He must have listened when every week I comment on the fact that he waits for me to pick him up and then he goes. I keep telling him to spread the joy and go at school!!

It's All or None!!

This morning, Andrew looked at his cup of milk filled halfway. He glared at me and said, "I'm not going to drink that." When I asked why he replied, "Because it's only half full. I'll still be thirsty when it's gone." I told him I would give him more once that was gone but still he said no. So of course I argued with him that it doesn't make sense to drink nothing just because you want more but there is no changing his mind. So he had nothing to drink this morning! Funny now, but at the time, I was slightly furious!

Surely We Don't Eat Out that Much!!

I was putting queso in bowls to have with lunch today. Luke was watching me and asked what it was. I said queso and he looked shocked and yelled, "Queso??!! At home?!!"

Lukie 2 Hats

Picture says it all...

Close

I always say to Luke, "I love you with all my heart."
Lately, his reply is, "I love you with all your heart."

Nothing to be Thankful for!!!

So far today nothing that funny has happened (it's still early, I know).
But like some radio stations, I figured it's a good opportunity for Way Back Wednesday. Here's a great one from the past - naturally I don't have it written down anywhere so this will help me remember when I'm senile!!

Thanksgiving 2008 - We were about to sit down for a wonderful meal at Aunt Marilyn's when Bobby started a very nice prayer. Of course it was full of everything we should be thankful for. As soon as he said Amen, Andrew opened his eyes, saw his empty plate and yelled, "I GOT NOTHIN'!"
When everyone recovered from the laughter we explained that at nice family meals, you start with an empty plate and the food is passed around. In the poor kid's defense, I normally put his plate on the table full of food.
Funny enough, but fast forward to 2009 and after the prayer, he opened his eyes and said, "I don't have any food!"
Much more polite this year!!! Can't believe after how we laughed and teased last year (it's good for him), that he wouldn't remember it!!

Should Have Signed LUKE up for Tball!!

Luke got crazy mad at me today when we were leaving the building after signing up Andrew for tball. Still not sure what set him off but it was a doozy.
I wrestled him in his seat, hit the button to close the automatic door and walked around to my side of the car.
He was screaming something at me but I couldn't understand him. When we got home, I realized there was only 1 shoe in the car. Sort of a problem since the child only has 1 real pair of shoes!! (Give me a break - he's a boy).
So I started to put it all together and realized he was screaming at me that his shoe was outside the van. Great!
So after picking up R & A from school we drove back over there to see if we could find his shoe.
Andrew was the first to spot it. I'll admit I am impressed with the kid's arm!!!
Here's the pic...

Obviously

This morning Luke coughed a really deep, hacking cough. He hasn't been sick so I was a little surprised and said, "Wow - where did that cough come from?"
He gave me the "I get so tired of dealing with idiots" look and said, "From my mouth."

It's the Little Things in Life that Count

Today when I got Luke up from his nap, he was extra snuggly with Woof-Woof (his stuffed animal). I said he was lucky to have such a good dog and he said, "Yeah, he doesn't potty on me."

So Maybe We are a Bit Alike!

Today was the first time Andrew has tried Fun Dip (Lik-a-Maid). As he ate it, he had one of his best quotes ever...
"This is almost my favorite day ever!!!"
Ah, the wonder of Fun Dip!!!!

It's about time!!

We played our 9 millionth game of Sorry today.
For those of you that maybe have not played so often lately, you draw cards and depending on the number you get, that's how many spaces you move. You have to draw a 1 or 2 to leave your home base to move around the board.
Sometimes you have to go several turns without moving waiting to get one of these cards.
Today on Andrew's first turn, he drew a 1. And completely exasperated, he shouts out, "FINALLY!"

Need an appointment with Pimple Popper MD

This is more embarrasing for me than Luke...
We were eating lunch today and I said something about Luke having peas on his shirt. He looked at me and said, "You have a pea on your eye!"
I have an ugly "blemish" above my eyebrow that I wish would hurry up and go away!!

Stayin' on the Nice List!

Luke was arguing with me after I told him to put his new scooter away this afternoon. I said, "Santa was sure nice to you to give you this scooter. He wouldn't like it if you left it out in the rain!" He finally wandered over and pushed it in the garage and said, "Santa is a good guy."

America - land of the elephants!

Ryan and I were talking this morning about Columbus and how he discovered America. Andrew asked if he was real and I said of course.
He looked confused and asked, "so could he really fly?" I said no that he was just a regular person. He looked extra confused now and said, "Person? I thought he was an elephant!".
I finally figured it out and told him Columbus was the guy and Dumbo was the flying elephant. "Oh okay" he finally said but I don't think he really believed me!

Future Bobby Flay

I asked the boys what they wanted for breakfast today. Andrew wanted waffles, Ryan wanted apricots and pineapple and Luke yelled out "Apple Sandwich!" ???

Let's Make a Deal

Don was taking down the Christmas lights and Ryan offered to help. He helped for quite some time when Don said he would give him a dollar for being such a great helper without even being asked. Andrew heard this and immediately offered to help also! He is saving money to buy a yellow submarine and is always looking to make a buck. Don told him that Ryan was getting a dollar because he offered to help even without asking for money and he said he would give Andrew 50 cents if he wanted to help them finish the job. Andrew thought for a minute and then hollered, "Hey I know!! Give Ryan 2 dollars and then it will be fair to give me one!!"

[Additional Note]
Ryan (having such a good heart) told me later that he wants to give all of his money to the people in Haiti. In his own words, "Toys are not what's important. People are what's important!"
Gaddy would have loved that quote!!

Zip it!!

We were driving by a field with a few horses in it and I told the boys to look over at them. Ryan says, "I saw a couple of deer in that field with the horses one day but I couldn't tell you I saw them." I asked him why he couldn't tell me - was he a baby and hadn't learned to talk yet? (Of course, I'm impressed because he can remember that far back). And he replies, "No - I was in trouble and you had told me not to say another word!"

First Post

I really want to get all of the crazy things the Stout boys do or say written somewhere so that I can always remember it!!

This blog is probably the tenth attempt at recording it all but hopefully I will keep up with it!

This morning we had to be at a basketball game by 9. So we got around early enough to take the boys to have donuts first. As we were leaving the donut shop, I told the boys to all say Thank You for taking us to donuts. Ryan (and even Luke) cooperated. Andrew, in true form, says "Well, thanks but I didn't really need donuts this morning."

Can't please 'em all!