Happy Day

Ryan got to go to Game Stop today to spend a gift card that he had.  As we were leaving with 2 games in his hands, he yelled, "I'm in the world of milk and honey!"

But You Like Santa's Tummy!

I picked up a container of french fried onions at the store today and said, "Man.  I love these.  I could just eat this whole thing right here."
Luke looked disgusted and said, "Oh no.  Then your tummy be SO fat!"

Pictionary for Pros

Playing Pictionary with Luke is difficult - partly because he can't read so he makes up things to draw.  You can imagine I had trouble guessing the following items he drew:
Worm mouth
Tarantula
A duck with 6 arms and 6 legs
Dog
A person with ears
Princess
Elephant acorn
A bug with 6 heads
Water
A hand with no head

The only one I even got close to was the tarantula - his drawing did have a bunch of legs so I guessed a spider!

Big Turkey

Here is a short story by Ryan Stout:

Big Turkey
Once upon a time there was a big turkey.  That was very fat.  That was poisons.  And cartages.  To bad for him case he was in prison.   he was in prison because he robed.  but they found out he was inanest.  he lived haply ever after.

Translation - Once upon a time there was a big turkey.  That was very fat.  That was poisonous.  And contagious.  Too bad for him cause he was in prison.  He was in prison because he robbed.  But they found out he was innocent.  He lived happily ever after.

Ho Ho Ho

Funnies heard while I was upstairs working puzzles and listening to Christmas music with Luke:

Me:  Hey Luke, you guys need to get busy and write your letters to Santa!
Luke:  Which letters?  All of them?  I just know some of them.  Like L and U and K and E.

Me:  Do you like this song?  It's not my favorite.
Luke:  Well then just "nor" it.  (Ignore)

Upon hearing a song that plays on an ornament he has in his room:  Hey!  I know this song!!  It play in my room!!  But oh no.  Why Santa not singing this one??

Paul Blart Mall Cop

We saw a cute sled set up at the mall yesterday so I told the boys to climb in it and I would take their picture.  At that moment, a security guard walked by and told us we couldn't climb on it.  As we were walking away, another man came over to me and said he had seen tons of people climbing on it and the security guard hadn't stopped any of them.
The boys of course started in about how it wasn't fair, he was just being mean to us, on and on.
So I told them that we don't know what was wrong with the guard.  Maybe he was just in a bad mood.  Maybe he was an OU fan and thought we were OSU fans!  (This being the morning after our pathetic football loss).
Andrew looked disgusted and yelled, "Do we LOOK like OSU fans?!?"