Good Strategy

Luke came flying into my room earlier carrying a sword and yelling to whoever was chasing him, "You can't hit me! I'm near something breakable!"

Don't Want to Know Why

Luke: "It would be awesome to have a friend with a hatchet!"

Lyric Laughs

Ryan just started singing the Elton John song, "Don't let the sun go down in the East!" Close.

The Gospel According to Stoutboyz

I just overheard Luke yell, "Jesus! I am never giving you away!" while cleaning his closet out. I assume he had just found his Jesus action figure.
This reminded me of an oldie but goodie...
When Ryan was probably 3 years old, we misplaced the baby Jesus figurine from his nativity play set. After looking for days we gave up.
One night when friends were over, they got a good laugh as we heard Ryan from the back of the house yelling in his best evangelical voice, "I FOUND JESUS!"

Deep Thoughts by Lukie D

"You should never give coffee to a squirrel."

He Used to be One of My Favorite Kids

Watching OU lose a football game (aargh), Luke said, "Yep we are getting creamed."
I told him to zip it. He asked why and I said I was believing we were going to win.
He smiled and said, "Um maybe you should look at the score."

Sweet Ninja

Just to remind how how sweet he is, Luke has been sneaking up on me and giving me "sneak attack" kisses, hugs and back scratches. It's the BEST!

Sour Sixteen

Ryan was telling Don about kinds of cars that he wanted when he turned 16.  Don pointed to his truck and laughed and said, "You're looking at what you're getting when you're 16 if you're lucky!"
Andrew heard all of this and groaned, "Well great.  I must be getting the minivan..."

Love of Boxes?

Luke said he wanted to see the new movie "Boxtrolls."
I said I wasn't sure if I was interested. He replied, "I love trolls and I love boxes so why wouldn't it be good?"

French with a British Dialect

Luke told me he was going to speak French to me and said, "'ello govna!"

Close

A song by Elton John was on the radio and I asked the boys if they knew who was singing. Luke yelled out, "Elvis Johnson!"

Birthday Blow Out

We were out to dinner after Luke's birthday party and saw a Lamborghini parked in the lot. Don told him it's what we got him for his birthday.
Luke said, "If I got that, I would explode!"
Ryan quickly said, "I get it when he explodes!!"

Must Be His Imaginary Friend Then

I just told Ryan that he smelled slightly offensive.
His reply? "That's not me. I've been smelling it all day."

Lucky Number 35

Luke has an obsession with the OKC Thunder and especially Kevin Durant. No matter what is happening around him, he will be near a clock at anytime ending in :35 and yell out, "The time is Kevin Durant's number!"
Hope he gets it out of his system before school starts...

Money for Nothing

We were at Ryan's friend's house today helping with a couple of things while they are out of town. They were kind enough to leave $5 for Ryan. I told him that he needed to share part of the money with Andrew and Luke since we really didn't do much work and we stayed at their house swimming in their great pool all afternoon.
Of course, Ryan wasn't too thrilled about sharing so I reminded him that Andrew had helped him bring up the trash cans. So he was fine with that but said, "Well what did Luke do? Why do I have to share with him?"
Luke had been down at the pool and as he walked up, I said, "Just be nice and give $1 to Andrew and $1 to Luke."
Luke looked amazed and said, "Why? What did I do?"
Ryan's face was priceless and of course he starting yelling, "See!! He didn't do anything!"

Ice Ice Baby

Luke just came up to me and said, "Hey Mom! My catch phrase is 'Yo Vanilla, kick it one time, boyeeee!'"

Not His Home on the Range

After 2 days of being in Texas, Luke said, "Yeahhh, I don't really like Texas songs."

Future in eBay?

Luke told me he wanted a trampoline and I told him no way. So he suggested he'd ask Santa for it. I told him I would tell Santa he wasn't allowed to have one. So he said, "OK I will put it online for $20." I asked him what exactly he meant by that and he groaned, "I don't even know."

At Least I Think It's Real

I asked Andrew to very carefully take my diamond earrings in the house today when I realized I was still wearing them as I was about to mow.

He held them up and said, "Wow!  I've never seen a real diamond!"

I said, "You goose - you've seen my wedding ring and it's real diamonds."

He looked shocked and replied, "I didn't know that was real diamonds.  I didn't think Dad would buy you a real diamond!"

Double Stuffed is Educational

I was showing Luke random words to see if he could read them. He was doing really well so I showed him "double" thinking it would be a bit more challenging. He read it immediately. I told him I was a bit surprised and he said, "Why did you think I wouldn't know that? It's on the Oreo bag!"

Backseat Highway Patrolman

Luke talks nonstop in the car. Here's a transcript of this morning's drive...
"Mom. Ryan told me a riddle about horses. There are 24 of them and there's teeth. Know what it is? And by the way, the speed limit here is 45."

Heavy Head

At the store just now I heard Luke yell out to the whole produce section, "Hey! I need to see how much my head weighs!"

Purple Preference

Luke brought home his leftover school supplies and I noticed something a bit odd about his crayons...

He's quick to tell you his favorite color is purple but I think he might have an addiction!

At one point this year, his teacher told me he had a meltdown over a purple crayon.  I just asked him about it as obviously he had enough purple crayons.  He looked at me, frowned, and said, "It was a purple pencil!!"

I'm Probably Tonto

Luke just said, "Hi Ho Sliver - on to Target!!"

And no, that's not a typo... He really said Sliver.

Spanish Therapy Really Paying Off

The book we are listening to right now has a narrator with a British accent. Ryan told me he didn't like the guy's voice. I told them that I loved British accents so much I just might make all 3 of them speak that way from now on.
Luke said, "OK! Hola!"

Best. Joke. Ever.

Luke just came home from a party and told me, "I heard the funniest joke ever at the party. Why did Princess Leia kiss Darth Vader?"
I said I didn't know and he looked at me blankly and said, "I don't either. I forgot."

Nana Speed

Luke was talking about how fast he could run this morning - here's the conversation that followed...
Ryan: Oh yeah, well I can beat you.
Me (to Ryan): Oh yeah, well I can beat you!
Ryan: I know. But you are older.
Me: Older doesn't mean much. I bet you can beat Nana and she's older.
Ryan: Sure I could beat Nana. I'd really just have to walk!

Spanish Impediment

Luke spent a lot of time telling me about things that he worked on with his Spanish teacher. After much confusion, I realized he meant his speech teacher. Guess that explains why we are still taking speech!

Poor Mommy

We were talking about the upcoming important holiday of April Fools Day - Andrew is concerned that he won't have much time to fool us with school and baseball that day.
Luke was listening and said, "Hey I've got a good one! We can call Daddy and say Mommy's dead!"
Oh yeah - that would be a great prank.

Misery

Don said Griffin looked miserable today. (We think she is about to lay eggs).
Luke said, "Yep. She's a girl. Girls are miserable."

Ye Olde 1980s

I heard Ryan telling Andrew about a football record he was reading about in a book. He said, "It was the farthest a ball was thrown. It was thrown by Kurt Warner. He's dead."
I told him I was pretty sure that Kurt Warner wasn't dead.
He replied, "He has to be dead by now. It says he played in the '80s."

Minions Would Be Useful

After a gross conversation, I finally told Luke and Andrew to talk about something besides barf.
Luke quickly replied, "OK! Let's talk about minions..."

Girl Problems

Conversation between Luke and I on the way home from church yesterday..
Luke: I used to be at table 1 at school but then I was at table 3. Then I went to table 2 then I went back to table 1. Now I am at table 3.
Me: Why did you move so much? Too much talking with Henry?
Luke: No. Henry and me decided we wouldn't talk at the tables at all. The other kids have to move cause they talk so Henry or me gets put in their spot. We are quiet.
Me: So you expect me to believe you don't talk at all at school?
Luke: Well I talk on the carpet. I can't be quiet on the carpet.
Me: Why not?
Luke: Sophia pokes me on the carpet. I have to talk to tell her to stop. Then she lies and says she's not poking me and I get in trouble.
Me: Sounds like Sophia has a problem with telling the truth.
Luke: OH! Sophia has LOTS of problems!

YOLO

Andrew: "Oh I know what YOLO means - You Obviously Love Oreos."

Remind Me

Andrew was doing homework and just asked me for the present tense of the word reminded. So I said, "Hey, can you remind me to do something?" He looked up and said, "Sure. What?"

Hopefully It's Edible

As I was making dinner, Luke walked by, looked at it and said, "What are you trying to make?"

New Year, Same Old Thing

Luke was sorely disappointed to learn that when school starts back tomorrow after Christmas break, he will still be in Kindergarten. He was convinced that because of the new year, he would be headed to first grade!