I Thought His Name was Sharkey?

For no apparent reason, Luke has been signing his name as "Luke Pig" on all of his schoolwork. Oink.

Fight Club

Ryan and Andrew were discussing karate today and which belts their old instructors had.
Andrew - "Miss Pepper was a 5th degree black belt."
Ryan - "Her husband was an 8th degree black belt!"
Andrew - "Oh man I'd like to see them fight!"
Overhearing all of this I told them that he wasn't actually her husband - they have been divorced for a long time.
Ryan yelled out, "Whoa! Then I'd really like to see them fight!"

The Two Other Lukes

Luke commented today that "it's weird that there are 2 other Lukes."  Don asked if he meant there were 2 other Lukes in his class and he replied, "No!  Star Wars and the Bible!"

Opposite of Being Hit with the Ugly Stick

Don was telling a story about a friend of his in high school that got smacked by another kid's dad for doing something rude. The boys thought it was hilarious and I said that "in the olden days", any parent could smack any kid that deserved it. It wasn't like today where people got in trouble for that.
Andrew said, "Whoa. So you mean a grown-up could go up to a kid in a store and hit them and say, 'You are too ugly?'"

Sigh-cology

Andrew said this to me on the way home from school today...
"I don't know why but Emma keeps looking at me and sighing. She did it all day long."
After I quit laughing, I told him that she was either in love with him or really irritated by him. Don told him that it might be both.

Hope He Got the Recipe

Ryan told me that they made "homemade" mud at school. Thank goodness - that's way better than store bought.

Big League

Quote from Ryan... "When I'm in the MLB, I don't want Will Ferrell using my name for comedy."

Your guess is as good as mine.

Or We Could Just Buy Some Chocolate?

Luke and I happened upon a ton of samples at Sam's.  There was one guy giving away chocolate truffles.  After we walked away and ate them, Luke suggested we go back for more.  I told him everyone only gets one and the guy would recognize us.  Luke looked all sneaky and said, "Sam's sells clothes.  Let's go buy some and put them on and he won't know it's us!"

I Guess That Make it Easy to Swap Styles

I overheard Andrew saying to Ryan, "Oh that guy.  He has Lego hair!"

I Go for Comfort Over Style Obviously

Luke and I were talking about silly things people say and I told him that someone said "thank you, sir" to me after I held a door open for them.
I said, "Hello? Couldn't he see I was a girl?"
Luke looked me up and down and said, "Maybe he was looking at your shoes."

My Atari Never Caused Such Pain

Luke was crying about something he couldn't get past in his video game. I told him he should turn it off if a game was going to make him cry. He replied, "I'm not crying. I just have a lot of water in my eyes."

Deep Thoughts by Andrew

"Birds are faster than you think. They don't have traffic lights."

Spider Confusion

Luke brought home a paper spider from school.  The boys all made them in kindergarten and I knew there was a story that went with it.  I couldn't remember the spider's name but I said I thought it started with an "A."
No one else remembered either and we kind of forgot about it.
Out of the blue several days later, Luke suddenly yelled that he remembered the spider's name...  Beyonce!

Thinking that he was probably not quite right, I looked up the story.  Turns out the spider's real name is Anansi.

Sick Day Entertainment

Luke is home today recovering from strep throat.  He feels fine and is being highly entertaining to me.  Couple of quotes from him...

Me: What's that red spot on your arm?  Does it itch?

Luke: It's been there mostly for three days and it's kind of itchy.

Me: After lunch, I can put some cream on it.

Luke: Really?  Whipped cream?!?

And after a long discussion of who he sits by at school...  "Ethan used to sit by me but he had to move.  He is even more talkable than me!"

Sent from my iPhone

Second Best

Luke had a minor incident at school involving talking (shocker) so he had to sit out at PE for a while.
I told him the next day that I expected him to be the best kid in class that day. He shook his head and said, "Nope. Can't do that. Henry is the best kid in the school."
Today I asked if he was good. He said, "Yes. But not as good as Henry."
I need to meet this kid!

Makes Sense

For whatever reason I was looking at Luke's hand. He pointed to one of his fingers and said, "I don't chew on my sharpest finger!"

Maybe He's Doing P90x in His Sleep

Me: Andrew, do you want to run with me and Ryan in the morning?
Andrew: Nah. I might be sore in the morning.
Me: What are you sore from?
Andrew: Nothing.

But He Has a Lot to Say

Luke has talked nonstop today since I picked him up from school. Literally... there hasn't been more than 2 seconds of silence from him.
As I was putting him in the bathtub I said, "You've sure talked a lot tonight. You having trouble adjusting to not being able to talk all day at school?"
He looked thoughtful and said, "I'll start that tomorrow."
I can see his future now - I'll be getting a talking to in the carpool line!

A Tale of Rabies

This funny comes courtesy of Nana who was kind enough to take the boys to the zoo while I had a wonderful time at the dentist...
"At the zoo the other day when we were eating lunch, they were all having fun watching squirrels. We saw one with no tail and Ryan said, yep, that means he has rabies!"

I Love Lukeisms

Luke just told me he could walk on his "thumb toes" underwater. I'll never call them "big toes" again.

Hopefully Not His Only Talent

Luke's strange and interesting fact for the day - he can lick his own elbow. Try it for yourself - it's next to impossible.

Drink and a Haircut

Don took the boys to play putt-putt today and the course has several old buildings you play through.  Don looked up and said, "Hey we get to go to the saloon now."  Ryan replied with, "No way - I don't want a haircut!"

Daily Pains

I had a sudden pain in my stomach today and yelped. They all wanted to know what was wrong and I said my appendix just burst.
Showing no concern at all for me, Andrew said, "Oh well that happens to me every day."

Granny Gimicks

I looked at Flynn while we were eating dinner and said I felt bad for him - he was laying on the back porch looking pitiful.
Andrew said not to worry about him because he was asleep. Ryan looked over and said, "He's not asleep. He has Grandma eyes."

I wasn't aware of this phrase but all three boys agreed that it is a widely used term to mean you are pretending your eyes are closed but you are peeking. Who knew??

Fruity

Quote from Ryan -
"I'm not a vegetarian - I eat fruit!"

Can't Fake Him Out

In a parade this weekend, we saw a float representing the local water park. At the top of the float was a lifeguard sitting in the lifeguard stand.
We happened to see the float later in the day and we realized that it was a mannequin instead of a real person.
When this was pointed out, Luke said, "It is a real guy. It's a real dummy guy."

Nope... Only Cows

Luke just asked me, "Are there cars in Texas?"

Coin Expert

Andrew picked up a penny and yelled, "Whoa! This is a 2013 penny! It looked more like a 2011 until I saw the year."

Egg Obsessed

We had an exciting change at our house this week. Our lizard, Griffin, laid eggs. This was a bit of a shock because we've had her for 3 years and thought she was a boy!
Luke is thrilled with the whole thing and told me this... "Maybe Flynn is a girl, too! I can't wait for her to lay puppies!"

Tennis Expert

Sticking with his "favorites" theme, Luke asked what was my favorite sport.  We were on our way to play tennis so I said, "As much as I like to play tennis, I don't really like to watch it.  I like to play tennis and golf but I'd rather watch football, baseball or basketball.  I used to watch tennis all the time but now I don't even know who's playing so I get bored."
Luke replied, "Not Daddy!  He loves to watch tennis.  He knows ALL those girls' names!"

Confident in His Answers

After asking for everyone's favorite movie, Luke informed us that his favorite is Despicable Me 2. I told him he hadn't seen that one yet since it wasn't even released. He nodded and said, "But I know it is going to be my favorite!"

Fatherly Advice from Luke

Luke has been on a roll lately with talking. Nonstop. About anything.
His latest conversations all start with "Mom. What is your favorite..."
He asked what my favorite ride at Disney World would be. That's a hard one but one ride I mentioned was Pirates of the Caribbean. He got all excited and agreed and said he loved the hill in that one. Of course Andrew said he hated the hill and we were crazy. Luke said everyone should love it other than babies. I reminded him that he had ridden it as a baby and loved it. His reply - "Well I was not a teeny baby. You shouldn't take a baby that you just got born that day onto that ride. They wouldn't like it."

"Loves To"

This is probably my favorite report card ever.  Luke's PreK teacher was kind to write it this way.  She mentioned several times that he was a bit of a talker!

Chicken Tales

Ryan came in the house and announced, "Well. I just had a talk with Red about multiplying!" Red is one of our hens and I assumed Ryan was wanting her to have baby chicks. I didn't want to go into the details of the fact we don't have a rooster and have to explain all of that. Thankfully when I asked him what he meant he said, "You know, I just told her 2 times 2 is 4!"

Sadly, last night Ryan's chick, Waffles, died. Ryan wasn't home and Luke cried and cried. He finally said, "Ryan will be sad. He can share the other chicks." Thinking he meant to share his chick, I told him that was sweet and Ryan would love to share Ariel. He quickly let me know that he meant for Ryan to share Jeffrey (Andrew's chick).

I'm Waiting for Mine, Too

Ryan just seriously asked me when I thought he would be getting his inheritance. As I laughed he said, "What? Not til I'm 20?"
Don't I wish!

Sick Day

Poor Andrew is missing the last day of third grade - he has strep throat.
On the way to take Ryan to school, Andrew said he wished he could go because the last day was always so fun.
Ryan tried to help him with the following:
Ryan: At least you only have strep. You're lucky you don't have lice. If you had lice you'd have to take a bath in tomato sauce.
Andrew: I think you have to take a tomato bath if a skunk sprays you - that's not for lice.
Ryan: Oh yeah. You're lucky a skunk didn't spray you.

As we got close to home, Luke said, "Don't forget to get us crackers and Sprite when we get home!"

I had to remind him that he isn't sick, but he is enjoying crackers and Sprite as I write this!

Roundabout Help

I'm trying to get 3000 things done before dinner/baseball tonight. I just got frustrated (it happens!) and sighed and told Luke I was never going to get it all done. He looked really sweet and said, "You need help to make dinner?" I was surprised and started to say yes when he added, "I can go get Ryan to come help you."

You Only Grow Once

This evening Luke told me his stomach hurt. A minute later he said his head hurt. A minute after that his knee hurt.
A lot had hurt today and I had told him that maybe he was growing. I barely had the words out of my mouth again when he held up his hand and said, "Mom. Don't say I'm growing. I already grew earlier today."

Uno!

During a marathon Uno match tonight I heard the following:

Luke: Mom. Play a yellow. Then I can totally do something to Andrew!

Andrew (with only 1 card left): Jackhammer! Oh I mean Uno! Sorry. I was thinking about a jackhammer.

A Feet of Strength

Luke just asked me this question...
"If someone is very strong, but their feet don't look strong, are they still strong?"

Moo

Quote from Luke:
"Do you know where you get milk from a cow? The gutter!!"

New Math

I told the boys we should play poker and I would take all of their money since we'd have a $200 limit.  Ryan's eyes lit up and he yelled, "Yeah!  But let's have a $5 limit since I only have $2."

Bearded Lady

Quote from Luke:

"I wish when animals be an old man or an old lady, they got a beard or mustache."

Scratch Away!

Andrew and Luke helped me decorate Easter cookies tonight. Luke had a hard time keeping his fingers out of his mouth and nose so I made him rewash his hands twenty times. (Don't be too impressed - if I wasn't sharing the cookies with others I would have ignored it).
After he was done decorating, he asked, "So I can scratch my face now? I can scratch it forever?"

Maybe I Should Teach Him How to Spell Dynamite

Conversation between Luke and I today:

Luke: How do you spell TNT?
Me: TNT
Luke: No. How do you spell it.
Me: T... N... T
Luke: But how do you spellllll it?
Me: T! N! T!!
Luke: (imagine the loudest, biggest sigh possible and you might get close to the sound I heard)

Water Everywhere

We were discussing where everyone wanted to stop for dinner and Luke said he wanted to go somewhere that has water because he was thirsty.
Andrew told him that all restaurants have water.
Luke looked astonished and said, "Even Chinese places have water?!"

You Catbrain!

I caught Harry (cat) eating part of Flynn's (dog) food this morning. Luke was sitting with me and I said, "What's he thinking? Doesn't he know he's a cat?"
Luke looked serious and replied, "He may have that really small head because he has a really small brain."

Luke and Lisa - Cooler than Batman and Robin

"When I am a spy when I am big, you can be my sidekick." This was what Luke told me after a long and confusing conversation about a friend of his and his friend's sidekick! For a good portion of the conversation, I thought his buddy had a psychic...

Back in Black, Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmmm

Back in Black by AC/DC came on the radio. I turned it up and told the boys it was one of Daddy's favorite songs.
Luke listened for a minute then said, "I don't know why he likes this. This guy isn't even saying real words!"

Thanks for the Sound Effects

We were close to home today when it hit me that I had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy. I was annoyed and said something about it. Luke heard me and from the backseat I heard him sing "BOM BOM BOM" in a very sinister movie way.

We Don't Need Another Pet Anyway

Luke asked if he could have a unicorn. I told him that unicorns aren't real. Ryan said, "Yes they are. But they are just horses with a really bad problem."

Mostly Honest

Lately when I ask Luke to do something like wash his hands or use the restroom, he will answer with, "I mostly just did, Mom."

The best is how he says mostly - most-uulll-eee.

Wedding Woes

We were discussing weddings the other night and I told the boys how happy I made Don when I told him that I didn't want a big reception with dancing when we got married.  

Ryan said he didn't want that either - he just wants an 8 layer cake and xBoxes for everyone to play.

Andrew overheard this and said that Ryan was never going to "get a wedding."

When I asked why not he replied, "Cause he isn't that attractive!"

Pre Atari

Luke picked out a Curious George book from the library today.  He was looking through it when he told me, "Hey.  My book doesn't have very good graphics."

Yeah, yeah, he sees too many video games.  But to his credit, the book is old and the pictures aren't very sharp.

And much more to my dismay, George is a smoker!!  Luke made me proud by also telling me that monkeys shouldn't smoke...

Here is the pic from the book:

At Least He's not a Biter

Here is Luke's routine lately when he gets into bed at night...

Step 1 - crawl down the hall with me yelling hurry up!

Step 2 - climb into bed and pick up Rapunzel (the stuffed puppy formerly known as Woof-woof) with his teeth.

Step 3 - crawl in circles around his bed (still holding Rapunzel in his mouth) until he has it all mashed down the way he wants and finally lays down.

It's so nice having another dog around the house!

It's a Love Song

Don was listening to a song in the truck that contains the lyrics "by no means impervious." Luke asked what it was called and Don told him he thought it was called By No Means. Luke replied, "No. It's called Curvy Chest."

I'd Grab a Spoon

One morning this week, it was quite cold.  The boys went out to play for a few minutes before school and Luke came running back in.  He yelled at me as he ran by, "I gotta get my gloves.  There is frosting everywhere out there!"

My New Identity

When Luke got in the van after school today, he said to me, "So.  How about you just go ahead and change your name to Mulan?"

How Will He Survive College?

Luke and I were at the store and I told him that if he would like it, I would grab a frozen pizza for him for dinner.
He thought about it for a second then said, "Nah. I don't like pizza that's cold."

What a Headache

Luke rarely does it, but once in a while he pulls the old "I don't feel like going to school today" when I wake him up.  I couldn't tell that anything was actually wrong - I think he was just tired.  So I packed him up and we went.
After coming home, telling me how fun school was, eating lunch, going to ToysRUs and playing before rest time, I knew he was fine.
We read a book and he was jumping around like a crazy person on his bed.
So as I left his room for his rest, I commented that I was glad he was feeling better than he had in the morning.
He said, "No I'm not!!  My head is uncomfortable and my top head is uncomfortable!"