How Do Other People Tell the Difference?

Luke informed me yesterday that his lifelong stuffed animal friend, Woof Woof, is now a girl instead of a boy. I asked how he knew this and he said, "Because her ears are down. If a doggy's ears are down then it's a girl. If they are up, it's a boy!"

Happy Valentine's Day!

Bluebirds Are Bullies Apparently

As we were eating lunch today, a bluebird zoomed by the window.  I said, "Whoa Luke, did you see that bluebird?  It was so bright!"He said, "OK.  Did it have happy eyes or mmeeeeeaaaannn eyes?"
I went with happy.

Please Don't Call the US Treasury

After seeing the commercial this weekend with the dogs that bark the Star Wars anthem, Ryan said, "I'm glad someone invented the computer. You can do cool things like put all those barks in a song. But you can do bad things too. Like printing money."

It Does a Body Good

Luke's school gives each kid a dum-dum pop at the end of the day. Each kid gets to go in the director's office and rummage around in a basket for their favorite flavor. Don't get me started on how I don't like them to have candy for snacks! (And yes, I know I'm a great big hypocrite).
Anyway, Luke has taken to picking the "mystery" flavor. Today when he unwrapped it, he had a white one. I always guess what flavor it is before he tastes it. I told him I thought it might be coconut. He licked it, smiled and yelled, "Nope! It's milk!"
I hid the gag reflex that caused in me.

Braveheart

Luke was supposed to draw something brave for church.  He drew a "Knight Monkey."

BFFs

Luke made friends with several strangers on the dance floor this weekend. We got a big laugh when we saw their mother trying to take pictures of them. Luke kept jumping in the middle of them with his arms around them like he'd known them forever.
I think she finally did get a Luke-free shot but it took her a while!

Plain Old Regular Clothes Again

Because he wants to break my heart, Luke is not wearing costumes anymore.  It's been over a week since he even thought about putting one on.
This morning, I told him he should wear one.  I figured the one that would do it would be his Flynn Rider costume.  He refused.
I said, "But I miss Flynn Rider!"
His reply, "I miss Disney World!"
I have no response to that other than so do I!

He did cheer me up by telling me a few jokes.
"Why does Santa not have any toys?  Because he doesn't have a sack!"
"Why does Santa not have a sack?  Because he doesn't have any toys!"
"Why does Santa not have any elves?  Because he doesn't have any elf hats!"
The best part to the jokes are the "Oh wait, I've got a good one..." comments that precede each one!

Now That Would Be an Odd Couple

I don't remember what the conversation was about, but somehow the boys got on the subject of Lady Gaga.  Andrew said something about her and Ryan was quick to say, "You don't even know who Lady Gaga is!  Who is she?"

Andrew said he thought she was a singer.

Ryan replied, "Well yeah, but I bet you didn't know that she is dating Justin Bieber!"

Your Turn But Not Really

The DVD ended that Luke was watching in the van.  I told him to pick another one to watch.  He hmmmed for a while and then said, "I picked last time.  It's not my turn to pick again."
I was pretty impressed he was willing to give up a turn but reminded him that he was the only kid in the car so he could pick again.He surprised me again by saying, "Okay - you pick!"
I started leafing through the DVDs when he yelled, "Wait!!  I need to tell you what you pick!  You want to watch Muppet Treasure Island!"

Winter Tale

Here is a winter story written by Andrew at school...

   Turk and Runt are brothers.  Turk is big, and Runt is small.  They live on wishbone farm.  Thier mom wants Turk to be a dancer, and thier dad wants Turk to be a football player.  At the end of the book they hided in snowmans.
   Andrew Stout

Furniture for Thought

Luke asked me for a futon today while we were eating lunch. After a very long and confusing conversation, I finally realized he wanted a crouton from my salad!

He Probably Heard it From His Father!

Ryan very casually started up a conversation yesterday.  Here it is:
Ryan: "Hey.  Sometimes we read the dictionary at school and today we found a naughty word.  And it's a CHILDREN'S dictionary!"  He looked completely shocked when he said this.
Me:  "I hate to ask but tell me what word it is."
R:  "This one."  Then he pointed down.  "It said it was a place of suffering."
M:  "Well that is true and although it's not something you should say, it is a place and if you are talking about that place, it's really not a bad word.  But what's the deal?  Were you guys just looking for bad words?"
R: "No.  I was looking up...  helicopter."  (I was impressed he thought that up so quickly.)
R: "Some kids in the class have read almost the whole dictionary! I've read a bunch but I don't read the definitions - just the words."
I've got to find some books he is willing to read!!

Who did it?

All of the sudden in the van today, there was a horrible smell.  I asked who it came from?  

Ryan - Not Me!

Luke - Not Me!

Andrew - Not sure.  I don't think it was me.

Happy Day

Ryan got to go to Game Stop today to spend a gift card that he had.  As we were leaving with 2 games in his hands, he yelled, "I'm in the world of milk and honey!"

But You Like Santa's Tummy!

I picked up a container of french fried onions at the store today and said, "Man.  I love these.  I could just eat this whole thing right here."
Luke looked disgusted and said, "Oh no.  Then your tummy be SO fat!"

Pictionary for Pros

Playing Pictionary with Luke is difficult - partly because he can't read so he makes up things to draw.  You can imagine I had trouble guessing the following items he drew:
Worm mouth
Tarantula
A duck with 6 arms and 6 legs
Dog
A person with ears
Princess
Elephant acorn
A bug with 6 heads
Water
A hand with no head

The only one I even got close to was the tarantula - his drawing did have a bunch of legs so I guessed a spider!

Big Turkey

Here is a short story by Ryan Stout:

Big Turkey
Once upon a time there was a big turkey.  That was very fat.  That was poisons.  And cartages.  To bad for him case he was in prison.   he was in prison because he robed.  but they found out he was inanest.  he lived haply ever after.

Translation - Once upon a time there was a big turkey.  That was very fat.  That was poisonous.  And contagious.  Too bad for him cause he was in prison.  He was in prison because he robbed.  But they found out he was innocent.  He lived happily ever after.

Ho Ho Ho

Funnies heard while I was upstairs working puzzles and listening to Christmas music with Luke:

Me:  Hey Luke, you guys need to get busy and write your letters to Santa!
Luke:  Which letters?  All of them?  I just know some of them.  Like L and U and K and E.

Me:  Do you like this song?  It's not my favorite.
Luke:  Well then just "nor" it.  (Ignore)

Upon hearing a song that plays on an ornament he has in his room:  Hey!  I know this song!!  It play in my room!!  But oh no.  Why Santa not singing this one??

Paul Blart Mall Cop

We saw a cute sled set up at the mall yesterday so I told the boys to climb in it and I would take their picture.  At that moment, a security guard walked by and told us we couldn't climb on it.  As we were walking away, another man came over to me and said he had seen tons of people climbing on it and the security guard hadn't stopped any of them.
The boys of course started in about how it wasn't fair, he was just being mean to us, on and on.
So I told them that we don't know what was wrong with the guard.  Maybe he was just in a bad mood.  Maybe he was an OU fan and thought we were OSU fans!  (This being the morning after our pathetic football loss).
Andrew looked disgusted and yelled, "Do we LOOK like OSU fans?!?"